Is God in The Cure?

I recently received an email from one of the subscribers to the free e-course, The One Minute Cure for Porn Addiction. (See the book cover over on the right?  Click on that to enroll.).  In it, he expresses his initial concern that God did not seem to be the basis  for The One Minute Cure.

Unfortunately, his reaction is not unusual for my Christian subscribers.  To many of them it seems as though I am offering them a “way of salvation” other than Jesus.  And that is a very, very scary thought for a sincere, committed Christian.  Believe me, I know.  I are one!

But is that perception true?  The answer is both Yes and No.

Let’s say you have an infection.  What do you do?  You go to the doctor, right?  Let’s say he gives you Penicillin for it.  The Penicillin works, right?  Right.

Does it matter if the doctor is a Christian?  Of course not.  Does it make a difference if you believe the Penicillin will work or not?  No.

The Penicillin works regardless of your belief in its efficacy or the doctor’s personal relationship with God.  Penicillin works like it does as a matter of natural law.  Cause and effect.  What goes up must come down.

And it is in that realm, the physical, that The One Minute Cure for Porn Addiction works.

If you are addicted to porn, if you feel driven and compelled and compulsed and forced to act out your sexual lust by buying and downloading and reading and watching pornography, your addiction is not just a spiritual or psychological problem.  It is a physical habit that has become too strong for you to break on your own.

The One Minute Cure will free you from your physical compulsion to go porning.

HOWEVER, once you are physically free of the compulsion to do porn, you will have a decision to make:  “Do I want to be free of my psychological and spiritual bondage to pornography as well?”

For many, many men, the answer to that question is “NO!”  Like all of us, they like the way pornography makes them feel, which is why we started using it in the first place, right?  And they see nothing wrong with pornography as long as it doesn’t get out of control.  And The Porn Cure has given them back their control.

But what about the rest of us?

What about those men, like my Christian subscribers, who believe even casual use of pornography is a bad thing?  Is there hope for them?

Fortunately for all of us, yes, there is.  And The Cure forms the foundation of that hope by providing us with a powerful tool of self-control with which to build a life of spiritual discipline and freedom.

I hope to write a lot more about that in the future, God willing.

Thomas Kaye

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About Tom Kaye

I am a writer, speaker, seeker and finder.
This entry was posted in achievement, Addiction, apologetics, Christian Porn, gratitude, Neurology, porn, pornography, religion, self-help, Sex, struggles, success, The Brain. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Is God in The Cure?

  1. E.G. says:

    Thanks again Thomas,

    Although I don’t think any Christian would call me a Christian, I do believe in the lessons and spirit of the teachings of Jesus (and Buddha and others of supreme wisdom) in providing us with an example of the way to live love and die happy.

    The first step is to know and love yourself. We must learn to forgive ourselves for the ways in which we hurt ourselves and others (in this case through porn). This must be done so that we can let go of our shame and continue to learn and progress through life, actively improving ourselves; to help avoid repeating the mistakes and pain of our past. When we can forgive, we can begin to embrace our strengths and shine our inner light out to those around us. Helping ourselves helps others, which helps them to love, be loved, and help others in turn. Forgiveness begins this cycle and Jesus was exactly right to teach it.

    Understanding our weaknesses requires embracing our strengths. Thomas, you have helped us do both and I appreciate the a-religious but spiritually enlightened way in which you go about this. Your course has helped me to understand where I can begin to embrace my own strengths and move forward.

    Every one of you began life as a loving wonderful human child. Every one of us has the capacity to return to that state of pure love and innocence in adulthood. Innocence does not mean ignorance; innocence is a state of being; a wisdom to be pure of intention and openness towards others, built on our own hard life lessons and subsequent acts of forgiveness. Strive towards wisdom; towards perfection. Know that we likely cannot be perfect. It is the will and strength you bring to bear in your personal quest for wisdom and perfection that defines you. That fight speaks to the true character of our holy spirit.

    We have been wronged or have wronged others in our lives; we will wrong and be wronged again. We must forgive ourselves, forgive them, and move forward. Others have hurt us, but really, it wasn’t about us. Examine the situation and see where that other person is coming from; their history and how it shaped their attitude towards themselves. That person wronged you because their inner pain and self-doubt lashed out. Have you ever seen someone you know do something that just was ‘not them’? Have you seen yourself doing these things? At some point I think we all do things that are ‘not ourselves’. We do them out of fear and self-doubt and it makes us forget who we are. When you find yourself in one of these situations regardless of which side, step back, take a breath and remember who you are and who they are. Don’t be afraid, you and they both are built on a foundation of goodness and love, even if one or both of you have forgotten it (temporarily or generally).

    We cannot afford to waste our faith and respect for ourselves and others in dwelling over these mistakes. Take your lessons from these moments; see your own pain and the pain of others that is the root of these wrongs. Find ways to stay true to yourself. Empathize with the mistakes of others; it may seem to be a very personal wrong they have done you; but remember it is in fact is a wrong they have done to themselves. Find it inside yourself to realize it was their pain, it wasn’t really about you. Understanding and empathy are the paths to forgiving yourself of their wrong to you and enables you to forgive them. The same goes for you. Your mistakes come from forgetting who you are. Realize that you are good, even if you acted badly. Remember this; figure out what made you afraid of yourself and overcome that fear. Then forgive yourself and be that supreme self you know deep down that you are. This is what learning from your mistakes is and this is what life is all about.

    Christian Values embody some of the most important values of humanity. They came from the purity of Christ; his loving acts; loving words; and kindness towards others. Give others what they NEED to begin sharing themselves. Once physical requirements for living are met, what people need most is love and forgiveness. To practice those teachings, we help people to get what they need to live, and then we show them our love through supporting words and actions, so that they may love in return.

    Our time on Earth is far too short to live in regret. Forgive yourself, forgive others. Acknowledge the spirit of the goodness within yourself; hold to it more tightly than any gem. If you embrace that inner divinity, you will see it in those around you. Focus on and spend time with the people around you that let you focus yourself on the positive and wondrous parts of life; your own awe at the beauty of creation, the laugher of a child, cute or heartwarming thing, or a truly selflessly courageous and loving act. Experiencing and sharing these things is what fulfills us. If these aspects of life occupy your thoughts, they will come to define you in their image. If human beings are anything, they are defined by their thoughts. Let the negative things in life wash over and through you. Take lessons from them, if there are any to be had. But do not dwell on those things, for they will come to define you instead.

    Physical lust is also a part of being human, more for some of us than others. That is a part of who we are, but we must also prevent it from obscuring how we see ourselves and others. Lust is an exciting and healthy expression of love; but more dangerous apart from it. Cultivate love with someone by sharing your understanding of your partner’s inner divinity; what about them makes you feel respect and love for them. The lust will follow and be focused by that love and respect; the results will be spectacular for both of you.

    Sometimes we are alone or feel alone and need to satisfy a lust. Remember that naked human body you look at is a person; she or he lives and feels much the same as you do. Acknowledge their inner divinity while you marvel at their outer beauty and don’t be afraid to ask yourself what led them down the path that saw them arrive as a naked image; the object of your lust. Do this before you seek to satisfy that lust and you will remain in control. Don’t express your lust out of negative feelings of loneliness and self-loathing. You ARE worth loving, you are good, and if you show your love of that goodness, someone will love you. If you already have a lover or are married, show that person your love. Self-satisfaction of lust is sometimes a need we all have, but do it because they are unable to satisfy that physical need for that day; it happens. Stay true to yourself and true in your thoughts to them. Picture that person in the most loving and sexy moments you’ve shared together and try to satisfy your lust while doing so. Some people would even appreciate if you expressed to them those pictures and scenes you imagined while doing so. If they are unwilling to satisfy you; try and empathize why that is and summon your own inner love to share with that person why they have won your love and respect. Nothing is a bigger turn on; but sometimes it requires time and practice of ‘Christian Values’ to earn or re-earn their trust. It also means not just sharing your goodness to them but with the world; he or she will believe in you that much more for your positive actions.

    Forgive yourself; forgive others. Be positive; seek positive experiences. Believe in yourself; you are worth believing in. Fight negativity with goodness and love. And try harder than anything you’ve ever tried to do before, because this fight will last your whole life; it is your life. Your success will mean your happiness with that life and for Christians and others that success has eternal consequences. Regardless of what you believe, failure is not an option.

    -EG

    • Tom Kaye says:

      Thank you for your comments, Eric. And your kind words. I hope you have received all the help and victory from pornography that I promise in my e-course.

      It is in our struggles with our untamed nature that we learn the most about ourselves. It is the man who resists temptation that understands virtue, not the man who gives in.

      As to embracing those truths that will set us free from our past failings and fill us with joy, every day it becomes clearer and clearer to me that I need a real, tangible Savior, not just a philosophical idea or ideal. For me, it is not enough that Jesus lived, said great things, set a terrific example and then died. What is most important to me is that He rose again. Physically, at a precise moment in our space-time history. And He lives today.

      Why? Because it means His realness is not just an idea or an ideal, but a tangible, flesh and bone reality. After his resurrection, after Thomas had said, “Unless I put my fingers in his hands and my hand in his side, I will not believe”, Jesus said to him, “Put your fingers in my hands and your hands in my side. Touch me, handle me and see that it is really me because a spirit does not have flesh and bones as you see that I have.” Jesus is the literal embodiment of God’s eternal truth. Not just an idea.

      You’re familiar with the placebo effect, right, Eric? Its the ability of the mind to influence the body based on our beliefs. What I find so fascinating about the placebo effect is that, for it to work, a person has to believe in the truth of the idea represented in the placebo. They have to believe the placebo is not a placebo, that it contains something that will help them. They have to believe the placebo is true.

      Like Wille E. Coyote, running off the cliff but not falling until the “reality” of his situation occurs to him, a placebo only works so long as you believe in the truth of its efficacy.

      If I were not convinced of the reality of Jesus’ resurrection, of His tangible existence as “God in human flesh”, there is not much in his moral or philosophical teachings that would interest me. Others have said as much. What is unique about the Jesus Christ of history is. . .Jesus Christ, Himself. He is the only religious or philosophical figure from history who said He would rise from the dead – and then did it! He is the only religious or philosophical figure of history who made himself the issue and not his teachings.

      Without a resurrected Jesus, there is no Christianity. Jesus becomes just another “also ran” from history.

      And of course, were it not for Jesus and his call to us to live lives of purity, I would still be wallowing in porn. . .or worse.

      Thanks again, for your comments, Eric. I am proud to have you as a subscriber to this blog. May I count you as a friend?

      God’s Best,

      ~TK~

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