Is God in The Cure?

I recently received an email from one of the subscribers to the free e-course, The One Minute Cure for Porn Addiction. (See the book cover over on the right?  Click on that to enroll.).  In it, he expresses his initial concern that God did not seem to be the basis  for The One Minute Cure.

Unfortunately, his reaction is not unusual for my Christian subscribers.  To many of them it seems as though I am offering them a “way of salvation” other than Jesus.  And that is a very, very scary thought for a sincere, committed Christian.  Believe me, I know.  I are one!

But is that perception true?  The answer is both Yes and No.

Let’s say you have an infection.  What do you do?  You go to the doctor, right?  Let’s say he gives you Penicillin for it.  The Penicillin works, right?  Right.

Does it matter if the doctor is a Christian?  Of course not.  Does it make a difference if you believe the Penicillin will work or not?  No.

The Penicillin works regardless of your belief in its efficacy or the doctor’s personal relationship with God.  Penicillin works like it does as a matter of natural law.  Cause and effect.  What goes up must come down.

And it is in that realm, the physical, that The One Minute Cure for Porn Addiction works.

If you are addicted to porn, if you feel driven and compelled and compulsed and forced to act out your sexual lust by buying and downloading and reading and watching pornography, your addiction is not just a spiritual or psychological problem.  It is a physical habit that has become too strong for you to break on your own.

The One Minute Cure will free you from your physical compulsion to go porning.

HOWEVER, once you are physically free of the compulsion to do porn, you will have a decision to make:  ”Do I want to be free of my psychological and spiritual bondage to pornography as well?”

For many, many men, the answer to that question is “NO!”  Like all of us, they like the way pornography makes them feel, which is why we started using it in the first place, right?  And they see nothing wrong with pornography as long as it doesn’t get out of control.  And The Porn Cure has given them back their control.

But what about the rest of us?

What about those men, like my Christian subscribers, who believe even casual use of pornography is a bad thing?  Is there hope for them?

Fortunately for all of us, yes, there is.  And The Cure forms the foundation of that hope by providing us with a powerful tool of self-control with which to build a life of spiritual discipline and freedom.

I hope to write a lot more about that in the future, God willing.

Thomas Kaye

When Self-Control is Running Low. . .

Have you ever read the book, Perelandra, by C.S. Lewis? The author of The Chronicles of Narnia?

Perelandra was the second book in his science fiction/fantasy trilogy.

In Perelandra, the hero, Elwin Ransom, is sent to the planet Perelandra (Venus) to protect the newly created inhabitants from the evil influence of a monomaniacal physicist named Weston. Weston’s mission is to get one of the two Perelandrians to disobey God. It is a replay of the temptation in the Garden of Eden but this time God has his own agent in place to counteract the devil’s temptation – Ransom.

For a good portion of the book Weston argues with the Woman (who is separated from her husband), reasoning with her that God wants her to disobey Him so that she can grow into a truly free and independent person. Ransom counters each of these arguments well but is unable to completely convince the Woman to stop listening to Weston.  The result is the Woman is left teetering precariously between the two choices: obey or disobey: which is right? which is best?

And Weston just will not stop!  Day after day he comes to the Woman, arguing, reasoning, trying to teach her vanity and pride, but always returning to the argument that God wants her to grow into an independent person in control of her own destiny.

Even Ransom believes God wants that. . .just not through disobedience. Can the Woman understand the distinction?

The Woman continues to resist the devil’s influence. She argues back and forth with Weston, defending God’s command and the necessity of her obedience to it.  But after so many days her resistance is weakening.

She’s running out of self-control!

So what happens next?

Ransom comes to an amazing conclusion: The woman has made her choice. Over and over again she has chosen to not disobey God, chosen to reject the temptations of Weston.

Ransom decides that is enough.  Now Weston needs to be gone.

But how? They are both trapped on the planet without a means of leaving.

Ransom decides his only option is to kill Weston himself.  And the next portion of the book encompasses their fight to the death.

This all reminds me of the Scripture, I Corinthians 10:13:

“No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.”

What is the way of escape from your particular temptation?

It could be the Porn Cure Protocol (PCP) you learned in The Once Minute Cure for Porn Addiction.  It could be The Swish or maybe Focusing with an Open Brain. It may be the Porn Reprocessing Technique or perhaps it’s just to notice it, actively observing your inner experience without feeling compelled to act on it. Or perhaps the answer is as simple as changing your mindstate from one of reactivity and fear to one of receptivity and openness.

What exactly are all these techniques and procedures? Are they just silly mind games designed to distract you and me from the reality of our daily experience? Are they, as my ex-wife would call them, nothing more than mental masturbation? My standard for judging anything like these is whether they work or not.

Do they work?  We’ll have to wait and see.

God’s Best,

~TK~

Is Self-Control a Finite Resource?

Well, that was the conclusion of a group of researchers in an article in The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (1998). You can read about it in the new book Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard, by Chip and Dan Heath (2010).

The researchers demonstrated that when people are put in a situation where they must exercise self-control (by not eating chocolate chip cookies when they are mildly hungry), later in the day when they are required to concentrate on a hard but solvable problem, the subjects who had to resist eating the chocolate chip cookies gave up twice as quickly (8 minutes vs. 19 minutes) and after barely more than half as many attempts (19 vs. 34 attempts) as those subjects who had been allowed to eat the cookies!  Apparently, they ran out of self-control.

The researchers’ conclusion:  Self-Control is an exhaustible resource.

Wow!

So if we want to stop or change any habitual behavior we need to realize the No. 1 tool we’ve been taught from childhood to rely on, self-control, will not get us where we want to go. We don’t have enough of it.  No one does.

Instead, we need to factor in this limitation and use our self-control carefully and wisely to create and establish new, automated behaviors that take us away from where we do not will to go and in directions we do want to go.

For more information on the differences between will and want, see Lesson Two of The Quick-Start E-Course to The One Minute Cure for Porn Addiction.

God’s Best,

A Testimony

I wanted to feature JD’s story, which he just posted on the testimonial page, as a separate post, but I wasn’t sure how to do that.  If anyone knows and wants to tell me how, I appreciate it.  In the meantime I am going to simply copy it here.

“JD says:

I have been addicted to porn form the age of 14. It was never as strong as it was these last few months before I decided to get help.

Let’s start at the beginning. During my first 4 years of high school I never really had a relationship with a girl because it always led to my heart getting broken the few times that I tried. So I discovered porn and there was no need for any heart brokenness. I could fulfill my daily needs for lust on my own.

Luckily in my final year of high school I found the girl of my dreams we started dating. After a year we started to have sex. This was my first time with a girl but in private I was still doing porn I never told her that I was doing porn because I knew it will hurt her so much and destroy our relationship forever.

My hunger for lust got so big that we had to have sex at least 3 times per day. It was too much for her and she told me she could not go on like this, that I needed to keep it under control. So I did just that! I started looking at porn more and more to fulfil my needs.

Before I knew it I had to look at it every day and the pictures needed to be more and more graphic. Then it became movies and more and more hardcore porn. As my lust got stronger and stronger the things that I needed to watch became more and more disturbing and more frequent. I asked GOD everyday to help me and send someone that I can talk to and will understand my situation and help get rid of my addiction without judging me and making me feel bad about what I have done and what I have become over the past 11 years.

I felt bad every time that I looked at porn. I just wish I found the answer sooner. I wasted so much time!

Luckily GOD sent me Thomas Kaye and his one minute cure and now I do not feel that urge to do porn, like I have to do it. I am almost free now. I just need to learn how to control my lust but I believe Thomas is going to help me to get control of it again.

The girl of my dreams and I got married last year in November. I do not what to lose her. She means everything to me but I knew if I kept on porning I will lose her, my work and my whole life. THAT was how bad it gets when you are addicted.

Finally, I what to thank GOD that he used Thomas to help me and saved my life. I will forever be grateful to you, Thomas. And to GOD – from now on I dedicate my whole life to You!!!!!!

Strong Men Live Free

I hope and pray GOD will help you too so that you also can be free!!!!!

Thomas, keeping on doing this wonderful life saving work and may GOD bless you and your work and your whole family.

Thanks for saving my life

Yours sincerely,

JD”

My reply followed:

“JD,

Thank you for posting a little of your story. Even I sometimes forget that pornography affects one man at a time, one relationship at a time and how devastating its impact can be. I am blessed by your words and am humbled by the knowledge that something I wrote has helped you become a better man. Thank you.

Regarding something you said above, “. . .I just need to learn how to control my lust but I believe Thomas is going to help me get control of it again.”

Please believe me, that I am not nitpicking when I say I resist the use of the word “control.” I do not believe, based on my personal experience and the history of mankind(!) that any of us can “control” our lust. not once we are in its grip. Caught in a Category 4 lust storm. However, I do believe, thanks to the Porn Cure Protocol I teach in my FREE E-Course (shameless plug), as well as techniques I will demonstrate and explain in later lessons, that we can learn to “manage” our lust.

It’s the difference between riding a wild bull and learning to surf. Both are wild, untamed and untamable. No one ever controls either one. However, most anyone can learn to surf even the biggest wave. Which is what I am trying to teach through my e-course and soon through a couple of books I am writing. To successfully “surf” your lust.

I am also partial to the dragon metaphor.

Dragons are large, powerful, dangerous untamed beasts belching flames that come from the depths of their belly. Some are so wild and untamable they must be slain. But some can not only be tamed, but ridden.

Our lust is a dragon that lives in our bellies. The actions we take motivated by our lust are its offspring. Sometimes our lust gives birth to love and marriage, then children. Then to our life-long commitment to our family,  to providing for them through our profession. In this case we are riding our lust, using it to motivate and carry us to the places we want to go. This is the true purpose of lust. To energize our productive, useful life.

But sometimes, many times, our lust gives birth to fornication and out-of-wedlock children whom we feel no moral obligation to raise, protect and care for. Or, sometimes our lust gives birth to adultery and divorce and the collapse of our families.

And sometimes our lust gives birth to our dabbling in pornography and perhaps to a full-blown addiction leading to. . .you already know, don’t you?

These are the abuses of lust.  It’s illegitimate children, if you will, if that’s not an abuse of the metaphor.

My point is, the dragon of lust must be tamed. It’s uncontrollable offspring cannot be. The dragons of pornography, of adultery, of fornication can destroy our lives.

They must be slain.”

Amen?

God’s Best,

~TK~

What’s Your Focus?

When I first began throwing this site together a couple months back, I titled it “Facing the Porn Plague” because that’s what I wanted to do.  That what I wanted to encourage my readers to do – Face the fact that pornography has spread like a plague across the world, thanks to the internet.  And like most all social conservatives, I believe the eventual fallout will be devastating, both for individuals and most likely for society as a whole.

But I recently changed the title to this blog.  I added the phrase – And Winning!

Why did I do that?

For the same reason psychology has finally begun looking at healthy people instead of only psychotics and neurotics and psychopaths and started asking questions like, “What are happy people like?”  and “Why are they happy?” and “How do psychologically healthy people deal with problems? Deal with setbacks? Deal with death and disappointment and fears and challenges?”

They did it because focusing on sickness can only tell you so much.  Ultimately focusing on disease and weakness and dysfunction constricts your vision and depresses your motivation because no one ever made their goal in life “to not be sick”.

They want to be well.  To be healthy.

You’ve got to focus your attention on what you want.  On where you want to go.  Not on what you fear.

So now, the field of positive psychology is dedicated to studying good mental health.  Studying how psychologically successful people think and live their lives.

And they’re getting answers!  Good answers we can actually learn from and practice ourselves.

The truth, which we should have seen all along, is that you can learn a lot more about living successfully by studying successful people than you can from studying losers.

Why did it take psychiatry and psychology more than a hundred years to figure that out? I have no idea.  Professional blindness perhaps?

So I renamed this blog.  ”Facing the Porn Plague – And Winning!”  because there is an answer.  There is a solution.  There is a cure to compulsive pornography use even when it’s only a mouse click away. With the right tools and the right plan of action any man can break free and live free of any compulsion to use pornography.

That’s a fact.  One I want to celebrate.  One I want to shout from the housetops!

Or at the least from my desktop.

God’s Best,

Tom Kaye

Dumpster Diving for Sex

Porn makes us feel good.  Even the feeling of being addicted to porn can feel good.  Like having a lodestone, something to focus on.  Even though this site is dedicated to helping good men free themselves from the iron grip of pornography, I’ll never deny that reality. Truth is our most potent weapon in the struggle.

We’re wired to enjoy sex and with the discovery of “mirror neurons” we now understand why watching sex feels almost as good as the real thing.   Here’s the story from NOVA.

I think it’s fascinating.  We enjoy watching sex so much because our brain makes it feel like we’re really doing it.  Of course, we’ve known all along from experience that was true.  But to  learn the actual science behind it is great.

But, knowledge aside, here’s the problem:  Once we turn away from the screen – even a hi-def screen – we are forced to realize it was all an illusion.  A trick of the brain.  We weren’t really with that woman, we didn’t really make that contact, we didn’t really interact or touch or get touched by a real, live, caring human being who loves us and accepts us and wants to share their life with us.

We are really alone.

The fact is, we were alone before we ever started using porn.  Even if we’re married, we were still alone.  Alone in our hearts. . . even while our spouse lay beside us.

Porn addiction isn’t just a lonely, solitary habit.  It’s a habit of lonely, solitary men (and some women).  Men using the power of their mirror neurons to create the illusion that they are not.

That why I titled this post “Dumpster Diving for Sex.”

Sexual stimulation by pornography is like digging for food in a dumpster.  Sure, you may find stuff that was once good food in there, may even tastes pretty good for coming from a dumpster.  But if you had a choice. . . if your life were not so impoverished. . .empty of any real, deep, quality. . .contact. . . If your life were better. . . different. . . richer than it is. If your life were what you wanted it to be. . . Would you ever even be tempted by the site or thought of eating out of. . . a dumpster?

It’s like the research they did into Rat Paradise.

What the heck is Rat Paradise? you ask.

I’ll have to tell you in another post.

God’s Best to You.

Thomas Kaye

I’ll Be Happy Here!

Why?  For two Reasons.

One:  We’ve got VIDEO!!  Yaaaaayyyyyyy!

Can you tell I’m excited about being able to post video into my blog without having to redirect you to youtube or some other place?  Well, I am.  You see, I thought you couldn’t have video on a wordpress.com blog.  Looks like I was wrong!

The second reason I’m happy is because the video I posted last night, but didn’t have the time to write this post for, is one that really speaks to me on the subject of this site:  Why men use and become obsessed and addicted to pornography – seemingly against their will – and of course, how to break free. Click and enjoy!

Isn’t Billy’s wife a wise woman?  ”I know how men think.  I’m not happy here.  I’m not happy there. I know, I’ll be happy here!“

The fact is, ever since we were little babies lying in our cribs we’ve been using our body’s natural PCA Pump to instantly inject the drug cocktail “Lust” into our bloodstream to make ourselves feel good.

(What’s a PCA Pump?  It’s that device hospitals hook patients in pain up to so they can regulate how much pain killer they receive, called, appropriately enough, a Patient-Controlled Analgesia Pump.  Of course, the hospital PCA Pump has a governor on it.  A patient can only get so much morphine per hour so thy can’t overdose, by accident or on purpose.  Unless your doctor is House and he gives you the code for unlocking the regulator so you can kill yourself in peace.)

What is the male body’s natural PCA Pump?  Our penis, of course!  The image of a baby boy playing with his penis is so ubiquitous, it’s a stereotype

Now this is, of course, a learned behavior, but it becomes a habit because it works! Whenever we feel bad in any way we know if we can just get a fresh injection of sexual energy (dopamine, vasopressin, oxytocin to name a few) into our bloodstream we will feel better.  At least for a while.

And with the help of pornography. . .perhaps a long, looonnnggg while.

Hours? Easy.

Days?  Sometimes.

But then, there is always the inevitable CRASH!

It’s simple biology.  Neurology, to be precise.  When you overtax your brain with neuro-chemical stimulants, even natural ones, eventually your brain must return to homeostais – normalcy.  And it does so with a BANG! Our physical systems can only take so much stimulation, so much stress before they break down.

The real trouble with getting “artificially” high even off of brain juices arises when “normal” for us sucks. When day to day life is filled with emotional pain such as disappointment, sorrow, fear, rejection, powerlessness, boredom, uncertainty, anger. . .and about two hundred other emotions, we end up being unable to endure it for very long.  The drug addict, the porn addict, the adrenaline junkie and the alcoholic, each of us is desperately trying to escape a normal life that causes us nothing but pain.

Is there a solution?  You bet!

God’s Best,

Tom Kaye

The Source of Your Pornography Addiction?

I think Sigmund Freud was a genius in his own right but he was also a product of the Victorian era in which he lived.  His theory of human consciousness was revolutionary, yes, but I have always been fascinated by its similarity to the Christian idea of the two natures: the spirit and the flesh.  I believe Freud’s inspiration was influenced by the Christian culture in which he lived; much as Marx borrowed from the early Christian idea of sharing all things in common and from it postulated the heresy of communism. (Yes, communism is a Christian heresy.)

What does this have to do with pornography addiction – with your porn addiction specifically – and how to break free of porn?  I’ll get to that.  I promise.

In his theory, Freud asserted that within the psyche there exists something called the id (German for “It”) which he asserted is our most primitive self.  The basic idea is that a central part of our consciousness is a sort of primal personality from which the rest of our personality develops.  This primal self embodies all the characteristics of a spoiled brat.  Freud said this is the true, unconstrained nature of every person prior to being subjected  to, and subjugated by, the overwhelming forces of socialization.  The Id is “The Wild Child Within.”

Today, Freud’s ‘Id’ is being replaced by the evolutionary idea of the “old brain”, or “reptilian brain,”  so called because the Limbic System, which evolutionary biologist believe evolved before the cerebrum, is believed to be the emotional center of the brain and is the part of the brain that controls and regulates our most basic drives and impulses, like survival, hunger, sex and fear.

(Here’s a question for you.  When is a metaphor not a metaphor?  When it mascaraeds as a scientific fact.  But I digress.)

This Wild Child Within is:

• Illogical
• Irrational
• Savage
• Narcissistic
• Selfish
• Purely Pleasure Oriented
• Intolerant of pressure to be perfect or good, or of any of life’s pressures; AND, most of all. . .
• ANGRY ALL THE TIME at not getting its way!

Sounds like some of my foster children.  Heck, sounds like some of my co-workers!

Shoot!  Sounds like me on a bad day!

Wrong! It’s all of us.

But it also sounds like what the Apostle Paul is talking about when he talks about “the lusts of the flesh”.  He describes it like this:  ”Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.”

The Id.  The It.  The Flesh.

Sounds like they’re talking about the same thing.  And if they are describing a universal trait of all human beings, it’s clear bringing such a force under control would be considered Job #1 for any civil society.

Freud postulated in order to bring this inner wild child under control, he called it repression,  the psyche develops a number of tools or defense mechanisms to handle the It. Contrary to popular usage, these defense mechanisms are considered by Freud to be good things and are only bad when they fail to fully repress the Id.  Meaning the little booger ends up getting out! And it can end up wreaking havoc on us.

Christianity has its own tools for dealing with the Flesh, what later came to be called, amid much controversy still, the “sinful nature”. But I’m not going to talk about those tools here.

Instead, I’m going to discuss how the unrepressed Id is dealt with when it gets out and causes back pain.

Huh?  Back pain?

That’s right.  Back pain.

In his book, The Mind-Body Connection, Dr. John Sarno, a orthopedic surgeon, postulates that any back pain without a clearly diagnosable injury (as well as many psychosomatic illnesses) is being caused by our subconscious mind’s inability to adequately repress our Inner Wild Child, which is perpetually pissed off at not getting its own way.  He claims to successfully treat close to 90% of the patients that come to him.  Even those who have been unhelped by surgery or pills.  His clients include shock-jock Howard Stern and former ABC 20/20 correspondent John Stossel.

Dr. Sarno’s cure for back pain?  Attend a three hour lecture explaining how unconscious anger triggers your brain to cause you pain so you don’t act out your rage.  Then, clearly acknowledge to yourself that you are angry at life for not giving you everything you want.  Also, journaling about your feelings, sometimes psychotherapy and sometimes support groups are also recommended.  But knowledge is his primary weapon.

Does it work?  Well, it worked for me a few years ago after my divorce.  But I never went to the doctor for my pain so I don’t have a story to tell of long suffering with back pain.  I found Sarno’s book before I needed to and I followed his prescription.  I recognized I am a man of flesh and acknowledged it’s want and desires while also telling it it wasn’t going to have its way with me.  And it didn’t.  My back pain resolved.

You can read more about Dr. Sarno here.

So what does this have to do with your pornography addiction? Plenty.

I believe porn addiction is not about sex.  It’s about giving in to the Wild Child Within.  About wanting your own way and being subconsciously angry, pissed off and raging because you think your felt-needs are not being satisfied.  Felt-Need is a term I use to describe our inner feeling of deficiency or lack. The distinction I make about felt-needs is they are not absolutes. Just because you feel a need doesn’t mean it ought to be satisfied.  It may only feel that way.  Like a young man’s felt-need to have a couple of orgasms a day!  Or an older man’s felt-need to get a hormone high from pornography.

The word need ought to mean exclusively something your body, mind or spirit requires to maintain your life at an appropriate level or to advance you life to more life-enriching levels.

Does your porn habit do that?

So how does this help you with your porn addiction?  Or a man’s non-addicted pornography habit?

Whenever you feel yourself being pulled toward porn, toward acting out your subconscious rage and anger at life’s unfairness by using pornography, turn in the direction of the skid!

Don’t resist it head on.  Don’t try to fight it mana-a-mano.

Remember: What we resist, persists!

Instead, turn toward your feelings, look them straight in the face and say, “I see you!  I know you.  Yes, I am angry!  Yes, I am pissed off at _________  and __________ and _________ (fill in the blanks).  Yes, I want to use porn because I am frustrated and raging and want to strike out or just change the bad way I am feeling.

But I’m not going to. I don’t have to.  I don’t have to do what my flesh is demanding; what my angry wild child within wants to do.  I can make a better choice.”

Try it.  Next time you are caught in a lust storm or come under a porn attack, recognize your wild child is throwing a temper tantrum and tell it to knock it off!

Let me know what happens.

God’s best,

Tom Kaye.

Is The Brain To Blame?

I was recently visiting a website about pornography addiction with a lot of good information.  I was reading an article they had on the brain science behind porn addiction.  It said, among other things,

“Porn viewing releases many of the same chemicals triggered by street drug use. Over time, these chemicals change the brain in significant ways. Basically, the frontal lobes shrink and become increasingly handicapped.”

Unfortunately, the writer doesn’t cite or quote his source so I have no way of checking its accuracy, but I don’t think I agree with that.  I don’t believe the brain of the porn addict becomes “handicapped” by porn use, as though pornography has deformed or injured it.  The brain of the porn addict is working perfectly. It is doing precisely what its owner is telling it to do.  And that’s the problem!

Repeated and excessive exposure to pornography has habituated the brain to respond quickly and efficiently in exactly the manner the addict desires – with a cascading profusion of brain chemicals creating the experience of lust.

This is what the brain was designed by God to do.  This neural state of hyper-focus is essential to learning or completing complex tasks and the cascading sensations of lust created by sexual arousal are essential to the survival of the human race.  It is the use to which these tools have been put to which is causing the problem.

The problem is we created a habit which we now say we want to break but we don’t know how.  It’s that simple.  And that difficult.

But not really that difficult.  And not impossible either.

There is a cure for your porn compulsions.  Subscribe to this blog and receive the free e-course to find out all about it.

God’s Best.

Anatomy of an Addiction – Part 3

Just How Many Triggers Can We Have?

Our brain will create for us just as many triggers as we tell it are necessary to ensure we engage in whatever behavior we tell it is important to us.

And how do we tell our brain our porn-seeking behavior is important?

By the amount of time, effort and attention we give to it.

Oh, and also (very important), the amount of pleasure we get from the behavior.

That’s right.  Pleasure is a measure of importance to the brain.  Pleasure is our brain-body system’s way of identifying  positive, life-affirming behaviors.

Think about it for a minute.

Imagine a creature so wired that every time it took action that supported it’s life it received a painful electric shock.

Drink water – Zzzzztttt!!  Eat food – Zzzzzttttt!

Engage is sex – Zzzzzzzzzzttttttttttttt!!!

How long do you think such a creature would survive?  About a week?  Maybe two?

Impossible, to conceive, isn’t it?  Nature would never create such a monstrosity, would it.  Or maybe it did but the poor thing didn’t live long enough to reproduce!

But wait a minute!  Nature has created such a creature and they walk among us every day!  They’re called human beings.

Humans are the only creatures on this earth that I am aware of that can act against their best interests.  That can confuse pleasure with pain and pain with pleasure.

Consider the anorexic girl.

Here is a creature so screwed up in her head she associates pain with eating and pleasure with starving herself.

How long can such a creature live?  Ask Karen Carpenter

Need a better example?  Maybe one closer to home?

Consider the alcoholic or the drug addict.

Two classes of humans who repeatedly, habitually engage in behavior which is guaranteed not to enhance their life but will, in fact, most likely  end it.

Why?

The answer is obvious.  Because alcohol and drugs feel good.

What does this prove?

It proves it’s possible for a human being to so screw up their brain-body’s life support system that they end up not enhancing their life with pleasure or protecting their life by avoiding pain, but doing the exact opposite.

Now think about your porn use.  Does the pleasure you’re getting from porn enhance your life and make it better?  Is it bringing you happiness?  Joy? Peace?  Fulfillment?

Or guilt, depression, frustration and despair?

Does it validate and deepen your relationship with that special someone in our life or does it create barriers?

If you’re the person I’m writing this for, I’m going to pick Barriers, Guilt, Frustration and Despair for $2,000, Alex!

The Question Is:  What is Porn Addiction?

So why do you do it?  Why do we do it?

Because it feels good!

Duh!

But why do we do it to excess?  To the point it brings pain into our lives?

Because it always feels really good!

Oooohhhhh.

Shoot! We are sooooooo screwed!

But Wait!  There’s More!

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